Hello world! how are you today? are you missing me? well I miss you like crazy! it's been like more than a week since my last post, I know, I know... my bad, but seriously it's like I got cursed or something, everytime, like every single time I made a promise to myself that I will updating my blog more often, and BAMM! something happen. It can be anything, more homework, or my girls suddenly make plans to go to the mall, or more homework ( mostly it's because more homework. so yeah) so I'm so sorry, what can I do? I'm cursed remember? hehehe
Okay, I've got a story to tell, and this might gonna be a long one, so grab your tea and cookies and get ready to hear my story ( or read?).
This is a story about one lucky kid, well she's not a kid, she's 11 years old already, so lets just call her a young lucky girl. and why she's lucky?
here's why .... so this girl was so wooowed, is wooowed is even a word? no? okay, just say she's astonished. More like shocked when someone emailed her. To cut a long story short, we just skipped the part where she's jumping around like stupid for hours okay? and oh and the part where she read the email like 10 times over and over again. So we go the part where she already knew that the person who emailed her name was mbak Ratih, a beautiful woman who work in publisher company. Mbak Ratih asked for meeting with this lucky girl, but since school is kinda overwhelmed, she said she can't. Out of nowhere Mbak Ratih called her ( she's shocked for sure, because she never gave her number to anyone, well she's not allowed to )
Mbak Ratih was super duper nice woman, she said she really need to meet this girl, and after a few phone call and email. The result is : Mbak Ratih is gonna meet her in some place called beautiful castle mall ( hehehe, yes Puri Indah Mall), and Mbak Ratih looks just like what she imagine she would be, she looks beautiful, classy and gentle too. It's kinda hard to believe for that lucky girl, Mbak Ratih really willing to accros universe just to meet her ( hahaha, not really universe, but it's quite far. that girl lived in west side and Mbak Ratih work in south side). After a long fun talk, Mbak Ratih open her big black bag and gave her a pencil, a pen and a drawing book, she asked that girl to draw anything she want, so she drawed her favorite character, named Lola. Out of nowhere, Mbak Ratih offering that lucky girl, that very lucky girl to make her own book, a fairy tale book, with story and ilustration all by her.
From her email Mbak Ratih already talked about her and a book by her, but fairy tale?? ilustrator?? whooaa! She's got nothing to say, she's speechless, it feels like someone just sucked up her soul. The only words that popped out from her mind is AY CARAMBA!!! Mbak Ratih told her to think about it, and gave her a week to decide. She's one lucky girl isn't she?
Am I that easy to guess? yes you got me right. That lucky girl is me. and last Monday is the day that I have to give Mbak Ratih the answer. Do you want to know what my answer is? I'll give you a hint. I'm a stupid girl. so yeah, this stupid girl said no. It's the hardest conversation ever, to call Mbak Ratih and tell her why, but like I told you before she's one of the nicest lady I ever knew, she's fully understand and said, anytime, anywhere I change my mind I can always call her. She even said that I'm the coolest kid she ever meet in live. Whoaaa! that's too much. really too much. I'm more like this shy girl with glasses and look tottaly like a geek. I even still on my uniform that day. One of the sweet conversation I had with her on the phone. Mbak Ratih (MR), and me.
MR : so we meet in starbuck okay? at 4 pm, I'll wait for you with a cake ready just for you
Me : hehehe thank you! but how do I recognize you? or how do you recognize me? should I wear some red jacket or something?
MR : you don't have to, I'll recognize you.
Me : well how you...
MR : I just have to look the coolest kid in town, how hard could it be?
Me : wrooong... you have too look for a strange kid with oversize uniform and round glasses
MR : yes a strange cool kid
Me : no no no, just strange.
and yes she recognised me the minute I enter the door, with my worry nanny follow me behind. She's waving with her perfect smile and perfect cake ready on the table, she kissed me on my cheek and said
MR : see, it's not hard. the coolest kid in town just like I told you.
me : speechless.
I already told Mbak Ratih the reason behind my no answer, and she said it was okay. And somehow I feel like I owe you all an explanation too, but really, it's not easy to get me, even my sister sometimes said that I'm kinda twisted. hahaha, somehow I can't say that I'm not. you see.. the reason is, it's just... just not feels right. The idea of me making my own book in my age was overwhelming, but there's something inside of me that keep on whisper, "are you sure?", "are you ready for this?", "is this what you really want?" gosh, it's hard. Do you watch Oprah? I bet you do, well me too, she's one of some person I look into, I maybe don't have a mom to show me the way, but I still have Oprah right? and she once said
Okay, I've got a story to tell, and this might gonna be a long one, so grab your tea and cookies and get ready to hear my story ( or read?).
This is a story about one lucky kid, well she's not a kid, she's 11 years old already, so lets just call her a young lucky girl. and why she's lucky?
here's why .... so this girl was so wooowed, is wooowed is even a word? no? okay, just say she's astonished. More like shocked when someone emailed her. To cut a long story short, we just skipped the part where she's jumping around like stupid for hours okay? and oh and the part where she read the email like 10 times over and over again. So we go the part where she already knew that the person who emailed her name was mbak Ratih, a beautiful woman who work in publisher company. Mbak Ratih asked for meeting with this lucky girl, but since school is kinda overwhelmed, she said she can't. Out of nowhere Mbak Ratih called her ( she's shocked for sure, because she never gave her number to anyone, well she's not allowed to )
Mbak Ratih was super duper nice woman, she said she really need to meet this girl, and after a few phone call and email. The result is : Mbak Ratih is gonna meet her in some place called beautiful castle mall ( hehehe, yes Puri Indah Mall), and Mbak Ratih looks just like what she imagine she would be, she looks beautiful, classy and gentle too. It's kinda hard to believe for that lucky girl, Mbak Ratih really willing to accros universe just to meet her ( hahaha, not really universe, but it's quite far. that girl lived in west side and Mbak Ratih work in south side). After a long fun talk, Mbak Ratih open her big black bag and gave her a pencil, a pen and a drawing book, she asked that girl to draw anything she want, so she drawed her favorite character, named Lola. Out of nowhere, Mbak Ratih offering that lucky girl, that very lucky girl to make her own book, a fairy tale book, with story and ilustration all by her.
From her email Mbak Ratih already talked about her and a book by her, but fairy tale?? ilustrator?? whooaa! She's got nothing to say, she's speechless, it feels like someone just sucked up her soul. The only words that popped out from her mind is AY CARAMBA!!! Mbak Ratih told her to think about it, and gave her a week to decide. She's one lucky girl isn't she?
Am I that easy to guess? yes you got me right. That lucky girl is me. and last Monday is the day that I have to give Mbak Ratih the answer. Do you want to know what my answer is? I'll give you a hint. I'm a stupid girl. so yeah, this stupid girl said no. It's the hardest conversation ever, to call Mbak Ratih and tell her why, but like I told you before she's one of the nicest lady I ever knew, she's fully understand and said, anytime, anywhere I change my mind I can always call her. She even said that I'm the coolest kid she ever meet in live. Whoaaa! that's too much. really too much. I'm more like this shy girl with glasses and look tottaly like a geek. I even still on my uniform that day. One of the sweet conversation I had with her on the phone. Mbak Ratih (MR), and me.
MR : so we meet in starbuck okay? at 4 pm, I'll wait for you with a cake ready just for you
Me : hehehe thank you! but how do I recognize you? or how do you recognize me? should I wear some red jacket or something?
MR : you don't have to, I'll recognize you.
Me : well how you...
MR : I just have to look the coolest kid in town, how hard could it be?
Me : wrooong... you have too look for a strange kid with oversize uniform and round glasses
MR : yes a strange cool kid
Me : no no no, just strange.
and yes she recognised me the minute I enter the door, with my worry nanny follow me behind. She's waving with her perfect smile and perfect cake ready on the table, she kissed me on my cheek and said
MR : see, it's not hard. the coolest kid in town just like I told you.
me : speechless.
I already told Mbak Ratih the reason behind my no answer, and she said it was okay. And somehow I feel like I owe you all an explanation too, but really, it's not easy to get me, even my sister sometimes said that I'm kinda twisted. hahaha, somehow I can't say that I'm not. you see.. the reason is, it's just... just not feels right. The idea of me making my own book in my age was overwhelming, but there's something inside of me that keep on whisper, "are you sure?", "are you ready for this?", "is this what you really want?" gosh, it's hard. Do you watch Oprah? I bet you do, well me too, she's one of some person I look into, I maybe don't have a mom to show me the way, but I still have Oprah right? and she once said
"before you agree to do anything that might add even the smallest amount of stress to your life, ask yourself : what is my true intention? Give yourself time to let yes resound within you. When it's right. I guarantee that your entire body will feel it."
and me, don't hear any "yes", well to be true, you can call me a chicken or whatever. but seriously I'm scared. too scared. Because it's not gonna end up there, believe me I know. People will put their eyes on me, well don't get me wrong, I'm beyond happy when someone called my name in the crowd asked for photos, a short chat or even just a little kiss, believe me you make my whole week beautiful with that. But more than that, really, I'm not sure I can handle it. well maybe not yet.
Even now I feel that my life is kinda different compare to my friends. One of my friend told me that she has a cousin who knows me from my blog and really curious about me, and when me and my friends go for a movie we accidentally bumped with her cousin, and the next day she told me that her cousin thinks I dress too usual and nothing special, and she tought I will be lot cooler. Well all I can say is, what should I wear then? I just go for a movie with friends in mall that only took 10 minutes from home. do I supposed to wear a vintage dress? a boots? don't think so. Do you see what I mean? somehow someway people expect something more fand more from me and I'm not sure I can manage more than this for now. I don't want more people coming just to seek my mistakes, because I do alot of mistakes, and it feels not good, it feels like hell when you know someone is diggin for your flaws, well I can assure you that I'm not flawless. Mbak Ratih said to me, if you do this, more people will love me, and some will love me more. and I answered yes, true, but maybe more people will hate, and more people will hate me more.
About hate, I'm trying to ignore it, well people love people hate. I'm trying to go easy with that. but what I scared about is I'm too young, I'm only 11. oh yes, that's also why sometimes I refused some interview, some magazine feature. I do love an interview, it's crazy seeing your face on a magz! It's not I'm being snob or anything, but there was a lot of times when I think that my friends and school are more important. It's always makes me sad everytime my sister pull a face when she knows that I'm refused an interview for only a movie out with my friends. but it's not just 'only' for me. this what matters for me. I know you never even try to force me or anything, but I know that you feel disappointed, and It's hell for me knows that I'm letting you down. I never explain this to you, but from all of the people in the world I tought you'll understand.
I love fashion so much sir, love it to death, but what if ? only what if, someday I get bored? someday I don't feel like to dress up anymore. and it's to late, people already put a mark on me, a fashion girl. what people gonna say? And how if someday I have this big passion on something else but because I already drown to deep, I loose all the will swim for another island ?.
Oprah also said : "Often we don't even realize who we're meant to be because we're so busy trying to live out someone else's ideas. But other people and their opinions hold no power in destiny"
Me, I'm still 11 and I don't want when I get number 17 I loose all of my will to win. I don't want being 11 and already give all of me. Let me just prepare myself, so when I think I'm ready for something more. I am ready. So I still got something to suprise you all. And let me just prepare myself, so it will be more hard when someone try to knock me down. It's crazy I know, put down a great chance, but it is true what Oprah said once again : "As you become more clear about who you really are, you'll be better able to decide what is best for you - the first time around"
Something I know for sure is that now I love the thing the way it is, love to blog, love to dress up, love to take pictures, love when you said hi to me, love to go to my own crazy wonderland. And this is the best for me now. Love you all way to much! kisses and hugs!
and I also know this fo sure, I love love love this picture of me by kak Tatiana. Love you so much kak!
and talking about wonderland, here's me in my wonderland, do you know that Alice is not the only person who had visited Wonderland? oh you don't know? well now you know. hehehe.
so dance anyone?
we're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance
~ japanese proverb
headband : chloris
dress : old dress
socks : sox gallery
shoes : aixaggio
so have you been to wonderland?
*background are courtesy of disney from Alice in wonderlan movie :)
~ to Mbak Ratih thank you sooo sooo much, and this post is dedicated to you, and yes of course we can always talk. just give me a call!
ps : please mind my bad bad grammar. hehehe
and me, don't hear any "yes", well to be true, you can call me a chicken or whatever. but seriously I'm scared. too scared. Because it's not gonna end up there, believe me I know. People will put their eyes on me, well don't get me wrong, I'm beyond happy when someone called my name in the crowd asked for photos, a short chat or even just a little kiss, believe me you make my whole week beautiful with that. But more than that, really, I'm not sure I can handle it. well maybe not yet.
Even now I feel that my life is kinda different compare to my friends. One of my friend told me that she has a cousin who knows me from my blog and really curious about me, and when me and my friends go for a movie we accidentally bumped with her cousin, and the next day she told me that her cousin thinks I dress too usual and nothing special, and she tought I will be lot cooler. Well all I can say is, what should I wear then? I just go for a movie with friends in mall that only took 10 minutes from home. do I supposed to wear a vintage dress? a boots? don't think so. Do you see what I mean? somehow someway people expect something more fand more from me and I'm not sure I can manage more than this for now. I don't want more people coming just to seek my mistakes, because I do alot of mistakes, and it feels not good, it feels like hell when you know someone is diggin for your flaws, well I can assure you that I'm not flawless. Mbak Ratih said to me, if you do this, more people will love me, and some will love me more. and I answered yes, true, but maybe more people will hate, and more people will hate me more.
About hate, I'm trying to ignore it, well people love people hate. I'm trying to go easy with that. but what I scared about is I'm too young, I'm only 11. oh yes, that's also why sometimes I refused some interview, some magazine feature. I do love an interview, it's crazy seeing your face on a magz! It's not I'm being snob or anything, but there was a lot of times when I think that my friends and school are more important. It's always makes me sad everytime my sister pull a face when she knows that I'm refused an interview for only a movie out with my friends. but it's not just 'only' for me. this what matters for me. I know you never even try to force me or anything, but I know that you feel disappointed, and It's hell for me knows that I'm letting you down. I never explain this to you, but from all of the people in the world I tought you'll understand.
I love fashion so much sir, love it to death, but what if ? only what if, someday I get bored? someday I don't feel like to dress up anymore. and it's to late, people already put a mark on me, a fashion girl. what people gonna say? And how if someday I have this big passion on something else but because I already drown to deep, I loose all the will swim for another island ?.
Oprah also said : "Often we don't even realize who we're meant to be because we're so busy trying to live out someone else's ideas. But other people and their opinions hold no power in destiny"
Me, I'm still 11 and I don't want when I get number 17 I loose all of my will to win. I don't want being 11 and already give all of me. Let me just prepare myself, so when I think I'm ready for something more. I am ready. So I still got something to suprise you all. And let me just prepare myself, so it will be more hard when someone try to knock me down. It's crazy I know, put down a great chance, but it is true what Oprah said once again : "As you become more clear about who you really are, you'll be better able to decide what is best for you - the first time around"
Something I know for sure is that now I love the thing the way it is, love to blog, love to dress up, love to take pictures, love when you said hi to me, love to go to my own crazy wonderland. And this is the best for me now. Love you all way to much! kisses and hugs!
and I also know this fo sure, I love love love this picture of me by kak Tatiana. Love you so much kak!
and talking about wonderland, here's me in my wonderland, do you know that Alice is not the only person who had visited Wonderland? oh you don't know? well now you know. hehehe.
so dance anyone?
we're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance
~ japanese proverb
headband : chloris
dress : old dress
socks : sox gallery
shoes : aixaggio
so have you been to wonderland?
*background are courtesy of disney from Alice in wonderlan movie :)
~ to Mbak Ratih thank you sooo sooo much, and this post is dedicated to you, and yes of course we can always talk. just give me a call!
ps : please mind my bad bad grammar. hehehe
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