Wednesday 5 June 2013

I do not know who I am, where I am going - and I am the one who has to decide the answers to these hideous questions. ~Sylvia Plath

"Who are you? Could you describe yourself?" I often got that question in every interview. A question that sounds like as simple as "what is the color of the ocean?" Just like the ocean question you might answer it fast BLUE! Dah'... but is it really blue? are you sure? isn't it more like green? ... Do you know that the ocean appear to be blue because this is the color our eyes see?  But actually the ocean can be many other colors depending upon particles in the water, the depth of the water, and the amount of skylight also blue wavelengths are absorbed the least by the deep ocean water and are scattered and reflected back to the observer’s eye. Not so simple anymore right? just like "who are you?" question. I might answer I'm a cheerful, shy, witty or even mad person but isn't people eyes different with mine? they see the blue, but I am the particles inside... I could go rambling who I am as a person but people see what they see. The simplest way I can answer I am who I am, I couldn't get more correct answer than that.

So who are you? Who am I? anyone knows how to answer it?  Or could anybody help me giving me formula how to answer that correctly, so I won't sound so obnoxious every time I tried to describe myself. Or probably you could help? some of you knows me for more than 4 years, so I believe you'll be a great judge. 

“I know pretty much what I like and dislike but please, don't ask me who I am.”
― Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath


Oh my, I forgot to say Hello... Hello people how are you? do life treat you well? I hope they do... Well if you asking... I'm not in my best shape right now, losing some weight and tired both emotionally and physically... and yes you can blame it on the crazy exams they probably drained all my energy and sucked all my mood. Thank God it's over. About the result, oh well... please please do pray for me... I need many prayers from all of you, hehehe.

Talking about who I am, there's one thing that I quite sure I am and that is that I love to be lost in my own imagination... I just love to wander off, go to my happy place. A place only me can visit...  where I can be anything I want. Where I could be a princess, a fairy, or even a witch... and each of them have their own complicated stories that I hesitate to share.  I once asked what do you do when you running out of ideas or imagination? and I answered, I have no idea what I would do, because so far my head is full with tons of ideas and imagination and I swear, sometimes I feel like I'm about explode anytime soon, trust me maybe running out idea is a bad thing but having too many is also frustrating.

And in between my crazy schedule because all exams that sucked all my happy mood I manage to make a photo shoot. And this time is not a fashion post like always, but this time I let you see a hint of my head, what I do when I'm wander off. But of course this is just a super tiny hint of what goes inside my head and I can assure you everything 100 hundred times more beautiful in my head.  Ah we human... it's always our own limitation who tormented us.

Will leave you with many words from one of my favorite poet, Sylvia Plath.
Have a good day everyone... see you soon...


“Can you understand? Someone, somewhere, can you understand me a little, love me a little? 
For all my despair, for all my ideals, for all that - I love life.
 But it is hard, and I have so much - so very much to learn.”
― Sylvia Plath




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“I suppose I'll always be over-vulnerable, slightly paranoid.”
― Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

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“If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter , 
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. 
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. 
You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; 
you have a right to be here.”
― Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

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Headpiece : Miss Ruby


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“I wish you’d find the exit out of my head.”
― Sylvia Plath

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